Journey to the Paradise

Thank you, my First Love — thank you for saving me and allowing me to see my own love.

You gave me a gift I didn’t know I needed. Only now can I see its worth. You let me believe, even for a moment, in salvation, in peace, and in love.

For a moment, I had everything I ever needed and loved.
And in the next moment, it was all taken from me.
Life never ceases to teach—and so I learned that nothing is in my control, except how I receive what life offers.

For a fleeting moment, I had it all: a family.
And truly, in the blink of an eye, it can all be gone.
All I can do is love—and when the time comes to let go,
I can only continue loving.

But so it was written — our story.
In your love, you gave me the most beautiful and precious gift:
The only reason I had to live.
As it was written — and our paths laid before us.

Thank you, my Next Love, for walking beside me for a decade.
Thank you for giving me the chance to move forward on my path— you made it possible for me to work where I was always meant to, to study where I was always meant to.
You helped me build the soil from which I could grow.
But what this chapter was preparing me for was something greater.

The price I paid for all of it,
the price I gave willingly,
was my light,
my energy,
my love,
my strength,
my life.

I lived the reality society offered as the only truth — a truth that was never the truth of my soul.
Life truly showed me that we create our reality from the level of consciousness we’ve been programmed to operate from.
And like calls to like.

I gave everything — and you received it.
Until nothing remained but my darkness.

Our time served its purpose.
And indeed — the corrupted code that the mind had been programmed with was created to self-destruct, to feed corruption, to collapse itself with every cycle, every repetition.

But all along,
this was preparing me
for the adventure of my life.

And when I had given everything away —
when death became my only truth,
when my mind had lost its ability to create reality,
when there was no more energy,
no more strength,
no more faith,
no more love,
no ability to think, to function, to operate —
when I stood before life,
with nothing left to offer,
with a reality that had already devoured my mind and my body —
in that moment,
either the game ends,
or the system resets
and is reprogrammed.

I never asked for my destiny — but I created it for myself,
so that I could fulfill the greatest miracle I have ever witnessed in my reality.

I chose to surrender;
not to death,
but to life.

That was the beginning of my story, my journey.
This time I chose to do it right.

Thank you my God
You heard my calling,
and my journey from hell to Paradise was ready to begin.
Our paths crossed at the darkest moment of my life,
and it was your kiss that was destined to ignite me back into love.
In light of that love, I saw how none of my choices had ever truly served me, how my truths and beliefs had never protected me,
how my path led only to my destruction.
I did not believe in love,
I did not believe in myself,
I did not believe in life.
But in that moment,
I chose to believe —
to give life, my soul, and love a chance.
Because once upon a time, I had believed.
And that memory was enough for me.

Once, that spark had been my truth—
that spark, that once-extinguished flame,
was enough to become my hope.
And so my path led me to you,
as it was meant to.

At the very moment I chose to trust my intuition instead of my fears.

You awakened me back to life,
showed me that my love had never been taken from me—
it had always been within me.

You raised me into Paradise,
to the place where I had always belonged,
from which I had never truly left—
into my love.
My love was God’s love.

You showed me what I had never experienced before, you showed me what peace of mind and love feel like—that I am truly worthy of them. You showed me what unconditional love is; it’s love beyond ethnicity, age, language, titles. And it doesn’t need approval or love from the another to exist.

Never forget: by going against your religion, you saved a soul.
And I will be forever grateful to you.

In your love, I was born again.
I was given the chance to feel the deepest and most sacred pain that both life and death can offer.
You opened my eyes to the lie I had lived my life in, and in my love for you, you forced me to see how your love asked me, in every moment:
Why don’t you love yourself?

You truly showed me that God — the salvation I had searched for — was within us all.
You showed me the light,
my path to follow,
my truth to believe in,
my strength within,
my love eternal.
You tuned me into my soul’s melody.

And you sent me back into flames of my own hell – on my journey back to the Paradise.

But I did not walk this journey alone.
Every soul on my journey was meant to be there,
and without your help, I would have never had the chance to relive each trauma, my past — again and again — until I finally chose differently. Until I believed in my worth, in my love, and in my life.

Thank you my Companion,
you were the friend I never had.
Thank you for bringing light and adventure into my earthly life while I was fighting my darkest spiritual battles.

You showed me that other’s mundane might already be another’s Paradise.
You showed me that different cultures does unite people, that culture is something to be proud of and meant to be experienced and shared with curiosity.

I learned that differences unite, and yet we are completely alike. With same dreams, hopes, fears and insecurities. You were a soul brother.

We got to experience how our souls the whole universe has really already planned everything before us.
You reminded me, truly — I must never assume anything.
Nothing has ever been promised to us, not even friendship.

I also learned how much power community, culture, and religion holds, and that power is not our identity, personality, or the truth of the soul.

You also reminded me of how important it is to live in the moment, because it is all we truly have.

Remember — you are here to walk your own path.
Let your heart be your religion, and it will lead you to your new world. Your dreams, your life, your path — they are meant for you.

Work life is the same life—it is not a separate, parallel reality.
Thank you, my dearest Colleague. We often wondered what sense there was in all this insanity, and why things unfold the way they do.

Now I can say this:
Sometimes, the purpose of our path is simply to bring light to those who walk beside us. As well as some missions in this game of life are meant to be conquered together.

Thank you for keeping me anchored in this reality throughout my journey — without you, I would not have survived. You stepped on the warzone on my behalf so I could rewrite my gameplan. You showed me that every battle is for us to win and how every hardship doesn’t destroy our will but instead fuels our fire.

Thank you for not giving up. And that you dared to step in into the unknown; was it the battlefield or an adventure? In any case, it was worth it.

Truly, everything happens for a reason—we only need to trust that it is for us, not against us. You have always been part of the elite troops and what I taught you is nothing compared to what I learned from you.

Thank you my Warrior.
My Fireheart.
You were the moon in the night sky — you guided me through the night.
You walked beside me across the battlefield of lifetimes.

You never gave up with me — you waited patiently for me to answer your call into the adventure.
And truly, I answered your love.
Your soul called out to mine, and I followed the only rule I was given: “follow your soul’s love” or was it “love your enemy”? So I took your hand, and indeed, you showed me the worth of my love, my soul, and my truth.

Your love asked me how much I was willing to lose for the love and approval of another than mine.

Your love taught me how each of my choices, each decision, paints my future and my destiny. You taught me how to read the code, you showed me the source code.

When the time came, I was allowed to see — how once again my past was written before my eyes as my future.
I knew this was a battle I could not win.
In this battle, I would face my past— my death.

Once more, I was allowed to feel what love is not, so that I would truly know the power of my love and the weakness of the ego.
One more time, I experienced what it is to get everything I had ever dreamed of — A family built on love – the love of another.
Only to be shown again the price I would have to pay within my soul and life.

We were never meant to win this war together.

But at this lifetime, you did something that is greater than any love this world could give; You sacrificed yourself so I could live.

You led me to my victory, you showed me the rules by which the enemy operates. You led me to witness how we indeed create our destiny from the state of consciousness we are operating in. You didn’t love your soul, so you couldn’t love mine. And indeed, every word and deed done comes back to us tenfold, you didn’t see your love, you saw your enemy, and you let me to witness how this game played by the enemy’s rules led you into your death.

All because you chose to follow the truth of your ego. All because I knew my truth of Paradise, and I was given the tune of my soul’s love that I needed to obey blindly. Our love couldn’t ever save us from ourselves.

But when you think that the game is over, it is just the beginning. Life for life, and you were granted a new chance to live this life. And into the beginning you returned, to darkness, to the warzone, to hell, from which we once began.
As it was written.

I am forever grateful that I was allowed to walk this chapter with you.

My deepest hope is that you will one day love yourself as much as I loved you. You will win your war — for we already fought it once, side by side.
Our shared story came to an end.

My journey ended in victory, but your story is still waiting to be written.
Your battle is still waiting, but you already have everything you need to win it. I promise you; you will win your love this lifetime.

Thank you my Wrong King, clues are written all around us, and at Fool’s Day we first met, through all my journey and battles, you gave me faith and hope, warmth and gentleness — more than you’ll ever know.
But our chapter began in my victory.

You showed me that everything I believed in was true.
You showed me the power of creation, mind, and faith.
You showed me my worth and glory.

You showed me that truly — I had won my battle.
You kept me at the surface as I adjusted to the new reality I had created — to the truth that once existed only in my imagination,
and which now unfolded all around me.

You made sure that every message and code was reprogrammed back to source and took effect, and formed a mind’s landscape which was not built on the past and in darkness, but from me, on truth, and on love.

You never let me slip back to where I came from.
You never let me lose myself again.

But you also let me learn that without darkness, we cannot appreciate the light. You were always the King at this game of life, but you’ve never experienced the real game.

We met when my journey came to an end,
when I reached the other side of the game board,
when I was crowned — from the soldier to the Queen.

But can you see now? I crossed the enemy line to get to you.
My place, my people, my King are where I came from.
My soul is a warrior’s soul.
Your true Queen is still on her way to you.
Never forget your worth, and your glory. Your heart is pure gold.

Thank you my King,
we met at the peak.
Both of us had walked through the warzone, a path designed to destroy us.

And so we agreed—before we even entered on this game of life:
We will not forget.
See you at the top.

It was a race against life and death.
And somewhere within our souls, we remembered that promise.
We entered the game both without love.

You fought through earthly darkness and a physical prison.
I went through spiritual darkness and the prison of the mind.
Truly, we paid for our salvation with our lives. Having to sacrifice our past.

Our victory only required one thing — that we surrender to God, to life, to the truth of our soul.

You showed me that I am not alone in my world.
You showed me that, truly, mafia life and corporate life do not make any difference.

You also showed me that I am not here to serve a man, but God. I didn’t see my flaws anymore; you showed me my true power and why we are here. You truly showed me that we are all one, we are all together here, surviving, trying to find who we are. Trying to find something that no one has ever shown us.
You showed me that on the top, the enemy isn’t found within anymore, or there is no war.

On the top rules of the game changes, and there are the ones who write the rules to this game of life; at the top, the enemy is the one who holds the true power. We people have always held that power. We, the people who are at war against ourselves and against each other.

So we would never see the truth of life.
I saw how Kingdoms rise and how Kingdoms fall.
But now you know the code.

In the end my story will lead me to where I belong — into Paradise.
Into God’s love I was created.

And so I made it — from hell to Paradise.

Thank you to myself — for daring, and for blindly believing in my truth – once again.

At the beginning of my adventure, in my darkest hour, I didn’t know why I started to write my story. Or more precisely, where my story leads. But when you’re called, you answer it, no question asked. I only knew that when I was shown my past, my actions done in lovelessness, when I had to face everything, myself, I prayed for forgiveness and death. But instead, I was allowed to remember, and to be born again. Each chapter is prayer that my pain would free you to love, that my unlived life would give you life worth of living. Each chapter is a prayer that you could feel what it feels like to be loved.

And so it is — in the end, all the insanity makes perfect sense.
Each one of you was meant to walk this journey together with me, as we had agreed. You turned my journey into an adventure that has never been lived into reality before.

Unknowingly, we rewrote history, and this time for the winners.
For that moment when we walked together,
we followed our souls and our hearts — against our beliefs —
and you all showed me that I am worthy of my life and my love.

The soul never forgets.
I am forever grateful.

But every chapter, every story must come to an end.
Still, each of you will live on forever in history, and in my heart.

And what this journey truly taught:
We are all one. The age, culture, language, country, continent, ethnicity, religion, past or education, nothing truly matters. Same darkness, same suffering, same searching for love.

I saw myself within all of you, and within me I saw all of you.
I never saw love but my own.
I lost everything in your love, only to have it all back in my love.

And so, my love;
You don’t need to rewrite life the way I did.
You don’t need to lose everything before remembering what truly matters.
I chose to carry the weight of forgetting, so that you would remember.
I chose to walk through fire, so that you could walk with light.
I rewrote the story and carried the cross — for all of us.

So now —
Choose your love.
Choose your life.
Not just in hollow words, but in your actions, in your thoughts.

Choose to see life as it truly is: sacred. The only true miracle.
A gift that doesn’t need rewriting — It only needs you.
Before life teaches you what I had to remember the hard way.

And never forget:
You were always meant to win.
Because your love cannot be destroyed.
Your soul is immortal.

The rules of the game are no longer survival.
The rules of the game are no longer forgotten.
The rule of the game is now only love.
Love is not a prize.
It’s the way, the truth, and the life.
And it has always been within you.